Bye bye Marge
by tumshie
Summary: What really happened to Marge Dursley when Harry blew her up, this is my take on it.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter and other canon characters belong to JKR Im only having some fun

The wizarding world is a strange place, electronics and electrics don't work properly, but Muggleborn students live happily among electronic equipment with no problems so perhaps it isn't magic but the amount of magic that is the problem. So what happens when too much magic interacts with electronics?

A little drabble from my fevered imagination.

It was the last day of the Summer holiday and Harry Potter was glad, his summer had started off badly and had got rapidly worse when his overweight Uncle Vernon had announced that his even more overweight sister was visiting Little Whinging, although things had improved slightly just afterwards as the Ministry of Magic paid for him to stay at the Leaky Cauldron.

Flashback

Harry and Vernon had come to an uneasy truce, Harry would behave (i.e. do as he was told and take any abuse handed out without complaining) and Vernon would sign his Hogsmeade Permission Slip.

Out of earshot of the two youngest inhabitants of No. 4 Privet Drive a conversation was being whispered. "Now, now, Pet," said Vernon, "Marge says her new pacemaker is working wonderfully, her only complaint is that she had to go to Albania to get it done, as none of these NHS pussies would operate on her. They all told her to lose five stone (seventy pounds or approx thirty-five kilos) before they would operate, but she showed them, and she didn't have to join a queue behind some worthless layabouts."

"But shouldn't we warn the boys?" began Petunia.

"Dudders is a gentleman, and a Smeltings Scholar, he knows how to treat a lady like his Aunt, and Potter knows what he has to do if he wants to visit some freak village with his freak friends."

Marge's visit was going reasonably well, Harry had sent Hedwig off to visit Hagrid so the presence of an owl didnt have to be explained. He only managed to keep his temper in check by silently quoting Quidditch statistics and going through potions recipes, right up to the day before Marge was due to depart.

In celebration of Marge's departure, Harry had been slaving in the kitchen under the watchful eye of his Aunt Petunia, a starter of Ardennes Pate followed by a cream of vegetable soup had began the meal, Harry could feel the weight piling on just thinking of the calorific value of those two courses alone, a fish course of deep fried calamari on a side salad with thousand island dressing followed and then the main course, Chicken Balmoral, (chicken stuffed with haggis with a whisky cream sauce), a dessert of spotted dick with Sauce Anglaise, followed with a cheese board. Throughout the meal wine had been served**,** and a Late Bottled Vintage Port had accompanied the cheese and now the three adults and Dudley were feeling stuffed.

Harry had served the meal but not participated, having been allowed to taste test the soup while cooking it, he had been hoping to be able to sample some of the leftovers but Marge had claimed them for her darling Ripper, who had growled at Harry throughout the time Marge had stayed.

"Brandy to aid the digestion, ladies?" suggested Vernon.

Petunia declined, but had a small sweet sherry**,** however Marge kept her brother company. It was at this point in the proceedings, while Harry was clearing the table**,** that Murphy showed up and took Harry's holiday off to see his cousin Helena Handcart.

"Good to see you getting something out of the brat." Marge started. And off she went.

Admirably Harry stood and took every insult, knowing that in a few short hours Marge would be on her way back to crawl back beneath whatever bridge she dwelt under awaiting unsuspecting travellers and gruff billy-goats.

Then came the straw that didnt just break the dromedary, but rather pounded it to pulp, "Of course, as I was saying to Fubster the other week, 'If theres something wrong with the pup, there must be something wrong with the bitch'. No offence meant, Petunia."

Petunia was the first to notice anything wrong as the dishes in her display cabinet started to rattle, then some of the plates on the table shook**,** and as Marge rambled on and on it happened - the Brandy Snifter in her hand shattered.

Dudley had made good his escape earlier, and taking advantage of the adults being slightly tipsy, he had snaffled a few unfinished bottles of wine. And now Vernon and Petunia looked on with mounting horror as the Potter Express hurtled towards the inevitable crash.

Petunia hadn't really known her brother-in-law, but had first hand experience of her sister's temper. Sweet, quiet, Lily had cleared the playground of their school on many occasions when the taunting had grown too much, and the look she now saw in her nephew's eyes brought all that back to her.

Vernon was also worried, he too had experienced his sister-in-law's temper and had also seen his brother-in-law in action. At James and Lily's wedding Vernon had made an off-colour remark to one of Lily's friends and before he'd finished talking had found himself flying through the air and landing in a fountain he was sure the hotel lobby hadn't contained a few minutes previously.

The French Doors in the dining room flew open, Ripper sensing something wrong fled through them, but in her alcoholic daze, Marge was like the Energiser Bunny, she didn't know when to quit.

Harry tried desperately to rein in his temper while wishing that Marge would just blow away on her self-inflated opinions of herself**.** And for the first time in his life since he'd bought his wand, Harry experienced accidental magic, and she did - float away, that is**.**

Deep inside the layers of fat that rolled round her body a sub-standard pacemaker went into overdrive as it tried to bring the electrical impulses that drove Marge Dursley's heart back into their correct rhythm.

As Harry collected his belongings and fled the scene he was unaware of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad Apparating onto the scene. It took the first team several minutes to compose themselves enough to take action, as they stifled laughs at the sight before them.

A large Muggle lady was floating about six feet off the ground, only being anchored by an equally large Muggle man whose trouser leg (and actual leg if one looked closely) was being attacked by the fattest bulldog they had ever laid eyes on.

Their concentration broken, the squad's teamwork and tactical training caught a train to Nowheresville and they all fired the same spell at roughly the same time: FINITE INCANTATUM.

That did it, the magic of the four spells combined with the ambient magic present everywhere and the wild uncontrolled magic Harry had been bleeding off met with the electrical output of the pacemaker and BANG, Marge Dursley was no more.

Behind the curtains of No. 3 Privet Drive an urgent discussion was taking place, "Thats it, this time Dursley's taken it too far, bursting novelty balloons, and the ugliest one I've ever laid eyes on, at this time of night. Call a Residents Meeting, its about time we put him in his place."

Marge Dursleys death was covered up in the best tradition of the Fudge Administration. As far as Vernon and Petunia were concerned she had died of complications of being fitted with a faulty pacemaker, and Dudley just accepted what his parents said.

Harry on the other hand was blissfully unaware that Marge was dead. Due to the incompetence of the Ministry of Magic, all he knew was that he'd inflated his so-called Aunt with accidental magic. The only thing that saddened him was that Vernon never did sign his Hogsmeade Slip.


End file.
